Oops... I did it again

Hello all! Yes, I know it's be a long time since I've posted anything, so super sorry! I wasn't getting too good of feedback on this thing, and apparently I was offending many a people so I just decided to drop it. When I was home a couple weeks ago though, I did get some complaints about not posting, so here I am to please those few who actually care. ;-)

To catch up, I went home for two weeks... two weeks to long, haha. It was a loooooong time to be back in civilization and society, but seriously, I had two of the best weekends in a long time -- one with my famiy, and one with my oldest friends. Can't beat that! There were obstacles in the path (aka the staph and Teenie's surgery) but overall, it was a great trip. It opened my eyes to how much everyone at home means to me yet how much more I belong out here. Love from a distance, that's what they (the old hippies) say here. So, I'll let you all know that you are in my prayers and blessings in inipi (sweat lodge) on Sundays and I miss and love you all!! Though I am far away, my love for you is not weakened!

You'll have to excuse my emotional state right now... day three on ZERO Lexapro. Still taking the Clonipin (just in case), but I hope to discontinue that as soon as I plateau from no Lexapro. Gotta even out!! I think I'm gonna be ok; remember how hard just going down to half my prescription was???? I thought about stopping the whole weaning off thing, but when I called my psychiatrist to consult with her, she basically made fun of me and my desire to find natural remedies rather than man-made chemicals. Well, biatch, I will turn to my crystals and my herbs and my spirituality and show you WHAT! Thanks for the motivation to stop using you and your pills! ;-)

Been back on the farm for about a week and a half now. Bella went back to New York to do massages (she has to go to the city every once and a while to "balance out" hahahaha...). It's funny because when she gets back from one of her trips, she bitches about how toxic and horrible it is in the city. I do miss her though... quite a bit. So now it's just Ahni (Bella's daughter, awesome chica), me, Nico (the Columbian-American who grew up in Cairo... cool dude), Ben (South Carolinian, son of a preacher man, with maaaaad dreads... also, super cool dude), and then... there's Chase. Chase hails from some bumfuck town in Kansas. He is a a big guy, eats for like four, doesn't help on projects, and sits around all day. L.A.Z.Y. Brings nothing to the table. He smokes a lot of cigarettes too, so when he DOES OCCASIONALLY do some kind of labor, he breathes really hard with his mouth wide open. I mean, shit, I thought I was bad! PHEW, sorry for all that negativity and judgement, but it's been driving me (and everyone else here) insane!! Not only does he eat all the food but he eats all the energy as well! Computers take up a lot of juice and he is on his ALL THE TIME... with it plugged in!! He doesn't seem to grasp the SOLAR ENERGY OFF GRID concept. On a positive note, we've all discussed it and Ahni's going to ask him to leave. From now on, there's a two week trial period for WWOOFers.

So, it's been an interesting week and three days back. I've been to two inipis and learning a lot about the native spiritual traditions. I'm actually hanging out a lot at Atzlan. It's up more on the mountain and I feel much more at peace there. Plus, the community is so great. Thomas and Willow run the Native Cultural Center (I say "run" but you can't really call it that... they live there and Thomas is like the head priest, elder, whatever... he's in charge) I love them so much. There are other people at Atzlan too... Bill, Denny, Mike, and John. Bill and Denny are just two white dudes who adhere to the Native traditions. Denny speaks fluent LaCota and Bill is just learning (he's been practicing for like two years). They are super great guys. John is Denny's blind friend, and he's really sweet. You sometimes have to help him get around, but he's so grateful and expresses it all the time, especially in inipi. Mike is a 19 year old WWOOFER who was supposed to be here at Bella's but she was out of town and he ended up on Atzlan. He's a really cool kid. I wish I saw the world the way he does when I was his age. Immature in a lot of ways... but very wise beyond his years. Gotta give him props for that!

On the farm, we've basically just been working on finishing the greenhouse. While I was gone, they basically planted ALL of the garden... I missed out on a lot. But now that everything's in the ground and getting watered regularly, etc, we can start working on these bigger projects. I persuaded Bella to grow a greenhouse for our "green babies" and by the time I got back, most of the frame was up. We got Bill down here (he's a construction worker kinda guy) and he helped us frame in the two walls left and put in a door and a window. Right now, we're working on mixing the soil for the raised beds. It's a lot of work! We had to dig out a foot deep, 3'x24' trench and then sided it with metal. Lots and lots of digging. Then, we gathered rocks from around the property (there are plenty) and put them at the bottom of the bed. Then we layed down broken glass. These two act as strainers kind of... they allow the water continue to flow and not get stuck in the beds. Under the rocks and glass, we put down chicken wire to keep the gophers from coming up. NOW, we're mixing the soil we dug out originally and mixing that with horse manure and sand. Then, we have sifted manure, mushroom compost, worm castings, and other ingredients to get our lush top soil. Our baby girls are going to be very, very happy! :-)

The greenhouse has taken up a lot of time recently... we really want to get it done so we can put up the tipi and then have time for REALLY big projects and fun stuff, like camping and hiking. Plus, the babies are ready to be in the ground. They're basically screaming for it! Today, I had to come inside... turns out that I have a weakened immune system right now while I'm detoxing and getting used to organic and natural food and I came back with a MUCH better infection than staph... but for your sake, I won't go into it. Let's just say its a women's problem and leave it there. I started taking a daily multivitamin to help boost my immune system, so hopefully it will work. I'm also eating a ton of garlic and drinking colloidal silver in my water everyday. These are all infection fighting natural remedies, and seem to be working pretty well. Right now though, I just need a cream. Cortisone would be GREAT. Good thing the nearest grocery store or pharmacy is 30 minutes away.

Anywhooooo... I went to Walsenburg (the nearest town -- 25 miles away) for the first time the other day to watch Thomas and the rest of the Atzlan gang do a drum circle for a fair they were having. I have some pictures and a video... I'll try to get them up asap so ya'll can catch a little glimpse of the amazing cultures and traditions that have been so heavily stomped on by the United States government. As their t-shirts say, "think the US government is fair? Ask an Apache." There's so much to be learned here... not just from Thomas and everyone at Atzlan, but from all the hippies on the communes and even the local drunks in Gardner. Life, and the people that come in and out if it, never ceases to amaze me. Now I'm gonna end this post, but I'm gonna leave you with a few words of wisdom from Chris McClandless, "Into the Wild" (the book I'm currently reading):

"You are wrong if you think Joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is in everything and anything we might experience. We just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living."

Just something to think about... a wonderful, clear expression of what's in my heart as I follow this path and am on this journey. Thanks for reading and I'll try to be better about posting!