Helloooooooooo readers!
Sorry about not updating yesterday, but it was a pretty uneventful day full of bad weather and indoor activities. Lots of fun, lemme tell ya... it was supposed to freeze and snow last night, but it only froze. The temperature has dropped dramatically in the last few days. The weather here is more fickle than in Texas!
Today was pretty good, though. I woke up a little late (8:20), had my breakfast, got dressed, and since the wind wasn't too bad at 10 am this morning, we got to do a little work in the garden. Bella had to leave to do massages, so it was just me and Nico, which was nice. We work well together and have the same task-handling process, so it's almost better when it's just the two of us. We cleared one of the greens patches, which I thought had just been grown wild. I was really thankful that we got to clear that section of the garden though because all of those dead flower stems and weeds were driving me insane! I went to town with the rake. I think so far my favorite garden activity is raking and clearing. The raking calms me and the overall clearing is like cleaning and that just makes me happy, haha. Obsessive compulsive, no? We also fenced in the compost pile with some chicken wire. That was more Nico's project, but I helped when another set of hands was needed.
After we broke for lunch, we got a call from Leon, the crazy hippie up on Libre who we just love, and he wanted help constructing a greenhouse for his friends Bob and Nancy over on one of the other once-was-communes, Red Rock Canyon. Apparently, back in the day, there were like four communes on Greenhorn and in the Huerfano Valley. Greenhorn is an amazing, magical mountain. So, anyways, we went over to this other commune and this house was so far-out. Nancy was one of Red Rock Canyon's founding mothers and Bob did his commune experience with Bella at another one in the valley. Bob is such a mountain man. He has long hair and this grizzly long beard -- which he's apparently had for like thirty years (I saw pictures). REALLY nice people. They have the most amazing outside garden I've seen yet since being in Gardner. They actually have a lined up orchard, and all of their beds are separated and raised with rock walls. It's just so pretty and organized. I can't wait to see it this summer! The house is situated in this perfect little valley on Greenhorn. When you come out of the house, if you look to the left you see the remaining hills and cliffs of Greenhorn and seem enveloped by the mountains; when you look right, you get a view of the entire valley and the canyon serves as a frame of the Sangres de Cristos. They have a chicken coop, and make money off of selling their eggs, etc. Bob said he'd let me come out there and learn how to work with chickens and coops and eggs... I'm super stoked. Handling animals and livestock is a big part of self-sustainability... especially if you're not vegan or vegetarian.
So, we spent the afternoon at Bob's constructing this greenhouse kit. It was soooo funny watching Leon do it by the manual. He was a construction worker and contractor in the past and he's built a few houses out on the communes, but he could not seem to get this manual straight at all. Maybe it was all the joints being passed around while we were building... ;-)
The wind had picked up down at Bella's place, so we thought we'd be safe by going up onto the mountain where the wind wasn't so bad. WRONG. Not only did the wind decide to start blowing through the canyon like a freakin' funnel, but it started to snow about thirty minutes after we got there! We kept on it though and got that freakin' greenhouse roof up... IN THE SNOW. It was pretty cool, except, since we were working with nuts and bolts, we couldn't really wear gloves so our fingers were like frozen from both the icy air and the cold, metal nuts and bolts!
After we got the roof up, we had a nice little dinner of rice and pinto beans and salad. It's really cool hanging out with all the old hippies who've been in this valley for 40 years. It's like they haven't met anyone new or welcomed anyone new in a LONG time. The community is all so nice and welcoming. They're so excited to see young people learning about living off the land, and they have a LOT to teach. Each individual has some different wisdom and craft or way of gardening that they've developed over the years, so you can learn something different from each person. It's really exciting. Plus, going to work for other people also gives me a break from Bella's hectic/crisis-centered energy. Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for her hospitality and she is a wonderful woman.... just nutty as a loon, haha.
So, now the day is ending, the sun is setting over the Sangres de Cristos and the snow is coming in... again. I am sooooo tired and will probably be in bed within the hour (its 8:00 right now). Wake up with the sun, go to bed with the sun! ;-)
Thanks for reading and I hope you all keep on keepin' on! Everything passes and changes and its a wonder what a little positive energy can do, so put on a smile and be happy to be alive! There's my preach for the day!
Peace.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Windy, Windy!
So today has been the most windy day since I've been here. Apparently, Gardner's pretty notorious for its high winds, but until today, they were completely manageable. Tonight, we have wind gusts from 35-40 mph. It's been like this pretty much all day-- it destroyed the cold frame we built yesterday, and I even got blown off balance on the stairs to the cabin!! It is kind of cool though because the winds are in a direction that's blowing the sand and dust across the mountains from the Sand Dunes, so there's this incredible dust storm that's been approaching us all day. It came on slow, creeping throughout the day, but by dark visibility was at zero. I just went outside and it is so eerie! You can just see the moon through the cloud of dust. Bella's all talking about how this is the weirdest full moon and she's like yelling out for the ETs to land, haha. I swear, if it's not 2012 then its aliens! What a wonderful quack.
Since it's been so shitty outside, we've been inside most of the day. We did some work on our indoor plants and I made a pound and a half of cannabutter to take to dispensaries in Pueblo. It's fun making that stuff on a small scale, but brewing bulk is a BITCH. And unless I get a mixer with a quickness, I could get real tired of this baking thing, haha. I tried a new recipe tonight: dark chocolate muffins. They're made with organic 70% cocoa dark chocolate and all natural ingredients. They could have been baked a little longer (I'm still getting used to the altitude difference), but they're pretty delicious. Can't wait to have one in the morning for breakfast! What a great way to wake up =)
So, we're supposed to have rain tomorrow, freeze and snow tomorrow night, then more snow/rain on... Friday? Is that the day after tomorrow? It's so hard to keep up with here. Don't know what else there is to do inside... maybe work on the tincture/edibles business and try to get organized to get some product moving. Who knows... Bella's so erratic. Nothing else very interesting happened today other than the wind and baking... I picked up Mike from Aztlan, which is always a pretty drive and he's good company. Young, but in ways mature beyond his 19 years... a young mountain man in the making...
An hour later...
Just got off the phone with my family and found out that my parents had to put our family dog, Benny, down tonight. It came as a complete shock. He apparently had cancer all over his body... but he held up real well until the end. He was happy and seemingly healthy -- he was even out at the Double O last weekend! Poor, poor Benny-boy. You will be missed. You were the most loyal and protective and amazing dog we could have ever asked for. I'm so sorry I'm not there to put you in your place next to Boomer and Molly, but I know you're happy in a better world, on a higher plane.
Anyways, my eyes hurt from crying, so I'm going to sign off for the night. Thanks for reading. Peace.
Since it's been so shitty outside, we've been inside most of the day. We did some work on our indoor plants and I made a pound and a half of cannabutter to take to dispensaries in Pueblo. It's fun making that stuff on a small scale, but brewing bulk is a BITCH. And unless I get a mixer with a quickness, I could get real tired of this baking thing, haha. I tried a new recipe tonight: dark chocolate muffins. They're made with organic 70% cocoa dark chocolate and all natural ingredients. They could have been baked a little longer (I'm still getting used to the altitude difference), but they're pretty delicious. Can't wait to have one in the morning for breakfast! What a great way to wake up =)
So, we're supposed to have rain tomorrow, freeze and snow tomorrow night, then more snow/rain on... Friday? Is that the day after tomorrow? It's so hard to keep up with here. Don't know what else there is to do inside... maybe work on the tincture/edibles business and try to get organized to get some product moving. Who knows... Bella's so erratic. Nothing else very interesting happened today other than the wind and baking... I picked up Mike from Aztlan, which is always a pretty drive and he's good company. Young, but in ways mature beyond his 19 years... a young mountain man in the making...
An hour later...
Just got off the phone with my family and found out that my parents had to put our family dog, Benny, down tonight. It came as a complete shock. He apparently had cancer all over his body... but he held up real well until the end. He was happy and seemingly healthy -- he was even out at the Double O last weekend! Poor, poor Benny-boy. You will be missed. You were the most loyal and protective and amazing dog we could have ever asked for. I'm so sorry I'm not there to put you in your place next to Boomer and Molly, but I know you're happy in a better world, on a higher plane.
Anyways, my eyes hurt from crying, so I'm going to sign off for the night. Thanks for reading. Peace.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Lights On!
Sorry about the major delay in blog updates! We were completely off-grid for four days... our solar system was down so we had no electricity and no water... It was awesome! Late nights by the fire and candle light... early bedtimes... truly a simple life. I'm not going to lie though, by the time we got to Pueblo on Sunday (we finally bailed), I needed a shower... BAD. So, since it's been 5 or 6 days since my last update, and things have been... interesting... I have a LOT to put down, so I'm just going to go by date. Before I begin on this huge catch-up though, I just want to clarify what changes I'm going through:
1) eliminated junk food and fast food -- only organic food (often times vegetarian)
2) weaning off psychiatric medications
3) hard labor, every day
4) quitting smoking
It doesn't seem like that much when typed out like that... but, believe me, it is. And it's hard. That's why this is the human experiment!
4/21: Bella asked me to pick up a new WWOOFer on my way back down from Boulder, where I went to celebrate the holiday and obtain my MMJL. Possibly the best 4/20 EVER. Anyways, so this guy, Nico, called me and we decided to meet in Denver. So, I picked him up and he's a really cool kid, with an amazing story. He's planning on staying at Earth Family all summer and I'm glad, because I think we're going to get along great. He's really chill and laid back. He studies eastern and homeopathic medicine, so his energy is just amazing. He is so balanced. It helps so much with the hectic, manic environment that Bella can create. So we're driving down I-25 and my car beeps at me. One of my tires is really low. I have to gas up anyways, so I pull over, we take a look at it, and there's a huge nail in the side. LUCKILY, I had Nico with me, otherwise I would have been screwed, but he helped me (didn't do it FOR me) put my spare tire on (for the first time in my life). Thus, big achievement for the summer: I changed a tire (with help). So we continue to drive on to Monument, where there's a Big-O Tires. It turns out that since the nail is in the side of the tire, it can't be repaired. DAMN. Not only that, but they didn't have the tire I needed in stock. The guy was super nice though and called his friend at Discount Tires (their competitor) in Colorado Springs. THEY have my tire. So, we put back on the spare and off me and my fresh new friend, Nico, go . We get to Springs and it takes an hour to put a brand spankin' new tire on. Yep, had to buy a new tire. FINALLY, after like 7 hours, we get to the farm where almost automatically, the phone rings and its Mike (another WWOOFer) from Aztlan (the Native Church on Greenhorn Mtn.) They were having a sweat lodge and invited us to come. This was my second sweat lodge (I went to one the week before). For those of you who don't know, a sweat lodge is a native cleansing ritual in which everyone in the prayer group goes into a pitch-black, heavily covered hut where there is a fire pit. Hot rocks are brought in and the leader chants and leads the group in prayer as he sprinkles water and sage onto the hot rocks. It gets super hot in there and you drip more sweat than in an hour of Bikram yoga. It's very ceremonial, very ritualistic, and extremely spiritual. It's easy to get taken away and lost in the intense spiritual energy within that hut. It truly is a mentally, physically, and spiritually cleansing experience. There are four rounds of chanting, praying and pouring water, but the ceremony isn't over until after the group prayer smoke and feast. It was such a wonderful end to a hell of a day!
4/22: Oh, man, do I have notes for this day! Obviously, I still had hope that the electricity (thus internet) would be up and running. Yeah, was I wrong! I want to give my readers a full list of the characters I've met and now see on almost a daily basis. They're mostly all super cool old hippies, but I don't have the energy to go into descriptions now, so that'll have to wait until another day when I'm not playing catch up. This was an awesome day though. We started out by working at Leon's, one of Bella's friends who lives up on the commune, Libre (like I said, I'll get to all that later); we helped him dig out a potato patch and clear out other plots to be planted. Leon. Is. Awesome. He has spent the last 40 years getting peace stickers and pins made and passing them out and putting them up in random places. So, he lives up at Libre on Greenhorn Mtn. and stays on a beautiful plot of land. There are about 14 older couples still on Libre. They all built their own houses from recycled material... it is so amazing. Leon has the self-sustainability thing down pat. He's got an amazing greenhouse that includes aquaculture and a system that pumps water out of a fish tank to feed the plants. He also has an amazing flower and vegetable garden outside. In the greenhouse, however, things grow year round, which is hard to do in the mountains. For lunch, we just went on a little stroll through it and harvested plants for the most amazing salad I've ever had. Harvest, clean, and eat. Just as we are meant to do. It was so beyond cool. On our way down the mountain, we passed Eagle Ridge/The Butte... kind of the marker saying you've entered Gardner. We decided, although its on someone elses land, that a good hike after a long day of work would be awesome. So, up we went on this loose rock, at least 60 degree slope. It was a HARD climb, but the view of Huerfano Valley from the top was breathtaking. We stayed up there for about an hour, each on our own ledge, meditating and watching the lower over the Sangres de Christo mountains. Absolutely gorgeous. After we got back to the farm, Bella asked us (us = Nico and I) to go fill up bottles with the fresh spring water about 9 miles away. I realize that it may not sound super cool to get drinking water from a fresh spring, but it is. It totally is. Filling up bottles with fresh, cold, clean, natural drinking water? It tastes sweeter than any Vitamin Water you can buy. Overall, another fullfilling, laborous, wonderful day in Gardner, Colorado.
4/23: Woke up to 8 inches of snow. Slow morning... Should probably let you all in on another part of this farm business: the medical marijuana part. Bella, a long time tea and herbal tincture maker, brews cannabis tinctures and sells them to dispensaries around Colorado. In order to make these tinctures, she gets trash bags full of cuttings from plants that have been harvested. We get to go through these bags and sift them to get the best parts. So, that was how we started this cold, snowy morning with no electricity: sifting herb. Thank God for the wonderful wood burning oven/stove! Another part of Bella's business is edibles. That's where I come in. I love to bake... especially from scratch, and I happen to be pretty good at making cannabutter, so I spent the rest of the day attempting to perfect my CannaBanana Bread. It all got messed up though and was a terrible disaster (this time).... but I will say that it was a LETHAL batch of banana bread. CRUMBS are enough to medicate with. The snow melted quickly, almost as fast as it appeared, but at least we got a nice long day inside chillin' and bakin'. It was a nice break from the labor.
4/24: Windy but beautiful day. We fixed one of the coldframes (a structure that keeps plants warm and allows quicker growing). I didn't really help out much with that... I let Guy (the WWOOFer that left later that day) teach Nico how to do it while I layed in the hammock. Later, Nico and I went back and prepared the soil within the frame for planting. We have a nice little salad garden going now: arugula, lettuce, and broccoli raab. This was the day when the electrical ordeal really hit the fan. Ray, who had been working on fixing the system, royally f*cked it up and he and Bella got into it BAD. After three days of little to no electricity, we finally just had to turn EVERYTHING off, including water. There was major tension in the round house, so Nico, Ahni (Bella's daughter), and I went to THE bar in Gardner. It was pretty fun. I got to practice my pool game and enjoy a couple of nice cold brews... it had been a while =) When we got home, Bella was ready to forget about solar energy and just go on the grid or move away in general. She likes crisis like that, haha.
4/25: Ahni decided to take initiative on our solar system, and with the help of her dad and Bella's friend, Norm, she was able to fix it! Because we had already decided to go into Pueblo and stay the night with Norm, we left the batteries to charge up with Direct Current and headed off to Desert Reef Hot Springs outside Florence. We had to take Ahni to Colorado Springs to meet up with a friend before she flew home to San Fransisco for a couple of weeks, so we stopped along the way. At first, I was like, "AWESOME, I need a bath so bad." Then I got there and realized it was a NUDE hot springs! Leave it to Bella... Anyways, at first, I couldn't stop giggling like a stupid little girl (this was before we had even entered the place) then, I got all nervous about getting naked. I decided just to go with underwear. Boobies are boobies, right? Well, after a brief self-pep talk outside by my car, I go into the changing room. I get my shirt and jeans off when Bella steps out of the shower... fully, 100% nude. She smiled and was like "c'mon!" Well, I thought, after she left the room, this IS a summer of new experiences... so off came the underwear. I have only skinny dipped ONCE in my entire life and it was this last summer in Barcelona. It was like 2 am and I was wasted. THIS time, I got consciously naked, in the middle of the day, around a TON of people. It was so invigorating and, in a way, a self-confidence booster. Being naked is nice! But I will say, I have seen my fair share of peens, vajayjays, and saggy boobies for a while.... After a couple hours, we packed up and headed to Whole Foods in Colorado Springs (the meeting point for Ahni). For some reason, I had a complete emotional breakdown. I freaked out on Manbearpig (we'll just use that as a code name for the way-too-complicated-to-even-begin-to-explain man in my life), which I haven't done in a really long time. It really scares me when I get like that, especially now that I'm weaning off my medication. I mean, I started psychiatric meds when I was 15. November of my sophomore year. Now I'm 24... how am I to know who or what I actually am?? So, when I freak out for no reason now, I REALLY freak out. This sent me into a spiral of questioning whether or not I can handle all these radical changes taking place so quickly. I called most everyone in my family and cried and came to the realization that if I do, in fact, need to be on meds, then so be it. I really wanted to prove that they weren't necessary, that things that nature and the earth give us can just as easily fix issues in the head... but the facts are, that's not true for everyone. And that may not be true for me. Which really scares me, because right now, more than anything, I want to be 100% natural and chemical-free. I want to be independent and live in the NOW, the PRESENT, and not in my past. For as stable as I was before I left and have been for the last three years, I am now finding how hard it actually is to deal with my demons after they've been suppressed by medications for so long. It's probably the hardest part about this entire experiment so far. Love doing the labor. Love being outside. Not so much loving where my mind still goes and what is obsesses on when I have absolutely no reason to be unhappy. But, the show must go on, so I'm still taking half of my usual dose. Everything will work out as its supposed to.
4/26: So, since I'm trying to also become financially independent, I (for the moment) have taken a job at a medical marijuana dispensary in Pueblo. It pays for gas and gives me some extra spending money, plus I'm learning a ton from one of the top guys in Colorado. The medical marijuana industry here is booming, and since finding jobs in film festivals or film in general is so difficult if you don't want to go to LA or NYC, I figured this is the next thing I know the most about. I feel like its an opportunity I can't pass up... come September I could be set up with a full time, well-paying job, possibly anywhere in Colorado. Like I said, the guy I work for is THE man. Look out for him in the June issue of High Times. So, I worked a full dispensary day from 10 am- 7 pm. You may think that its just a legal way of selling pot, but patients do come in with severe problems. I helped an elderly man with throat cancer who could hardly speak or hear. I could literally see the pain in his eyes, and I could feel it. It takes patience and compassion to dispense medicine, but if I can help one severely ill person feel better, then I don't care what I give them. It truly is rewarding... and really, really, really freakin' fun. On my way home last night from Pueblo, there were tons of deer and elk on the side of the road. Though I was cruisin' to some jams, I was definitely cautious and aware on highway 69 leading out to Gardner (the middle of nowhere). As I turned a corner about 10 miles from Gardner, I saw a truck with its emergency lights flashing. Automatically, I assumed he had hit a deer or elk, so I pulled over to help out (something I would NEVER do, except, as I say, everyday's a new experience now). As I approached the window, the elderly, toothless Mexican man was on the phone and had stopped because he was about to lose service (as I already had). I walked back to my car, which I left running, only to find out that my car locked me out. 9:00 pm. Middle of nowhere. 30 something degrees. FREAKING OUT. So, I go back to my new toothless friend and tell him my dilemma. "Ayudame, por favor" I plead. So, he pulled up next to me and tried everything he could to get into my car. Finally, we realized that the only option was to break out one of my windows. I picked one of the small ones that didn't roll down, thinking that it would be easier and cheaper to fix, and my new friend stuck the handle of his shovel right through it. I shuddered at the sound, but was happy to be back in my warm car. I drove the next 10 miles both laughing at my stupidity and crying over the damage to my car and the money that I would have to spend to fix it. Now, my little window on my precious Jeep is ghetto-rigged with plastic shopping bags and painter's tape. I finally fit right in to the Gardner scene!
4/27: FINALLY! TODAY! Today.... wow. What did I do today? Haha, I've been thinking so much about the past week, I can't focus on what I did today! Hmm... well, I woke up at 7:30 in a pretty bad mood and immediately put on my work gloves to go clean all the broken glass out of my car and ghetto rig it until I can get it fixed. Then, I had breakfast, and HALLELUJAH! Someone came and fixed the electricity. We're about to build a greenhouse, so Bella had a friend with a tractor come and level the land. Before he got there, though, Nico and I had to do a ton of clearing and moving building materials and other trash that had accumulated in the area. Then, Nico and I set to the task of building another cold frame/hoop house. This time, I did most of the work in putting it together. It took all day, but we've got another great plot that will allow growing and harvesting most of the year! We're thinking of expanding our salad selection into this one as well. It's very exciting to spend hours building something and at the end of the day, see a final product. I feel very achieved =)
So, that's all I've got for right now! Was that enough catch-up? I'll try to be more on top of this, but we'll just have to see how our solar system holds up! Thanks for reading and check back in a few days for more updates and MAYBE even some pictures!
1) eliminated junk food and fast food -- only organic food (often times vegetarian)
2) weaning off psychiatric medications
3) hard labor, every day
4) quitting smoking
It doesn't seem like that much when typed out like that... but, believe me, it is. And it's hard. That's why this is the human experiment!
4/21: Bella asked me to pick up a new WWOOFer on my way back down from Boulder, where I went to celebrate the holiday and obtain my MMJL. Possibly the best 4/20 EVER. Anyways, so this guy, Nico, called me and we decided to meet in Denver. So, I picked him up and he's a really cool kid, with an amazing story. He's planning on staying at Earth Family all summer and I'm glad, because I think we're going to get along great. He's really chill and laid back. He studies eastern and homeopathic medicine, so his energy is just amazing. He is so balanced. It helps so much with the hectic, manic environment that Bella can create. So we're driving down I-25 and my car beeps at me. One of my tires is really low. I have to gas up anyways, so I pull over, we take a look at it, and there's a huge nail in the side. LUCKILY, I had Nico with me, otherwise I would have been screwed, but he helped me (didn't do it FOR me) put my spare tire on (for the first time in my life). Thus, big achievement for the summer: I changed a tire (with help). So we continue to drive on to Monument, where there's a Big-O Tires. It turns out that since the nail is in the side of the tire, it can't be repaired. DAMN. Not only that, but they didn't have the tire I needed in stock. The guy was super nice though and called his friend at Discount Tires (their competitor) in Colorado Springs. THEY have my tire. So, we put back on the spare and off me and my fresh new friend, Nico, go . We get to Springs and it takes an hour to put a brand spankin' new tire on. Yep, had to buy a new tire. FINALLY, after like 7 hours, we get to the farm where almost automatically, the phone rings and its Mike (another WWOOFer) from Aztlan (the Native Church on Greenhorn Mtn.) They were having a sweat lodge and invited us to come. This was my second sweat lodge (I went to one the week before). For those of you who don't know, a sweat lodge is a native cleansing ritual in which everyone in the prayer group goes into a pitch-black, heavily covered hut where there is a fire pit. Hot rocks are brought in and the leader chants and leads the group in prayer as he sprinkles water and sage onto the hot rocks. It gets super hot in there and you drip more sweat than in an hour of Bikram yoga. It's very ceremonial, very ritualistic, and extremely spiritual. It's easy to get taken away and lost in the intense spiritual energy within that hut. It truly is a mentally, physically, and spiritually cleansing experience. There are four rounds of chanting, praying and pouring water, but the ceremony isn't over until after the group prayer smoke and feast. It was such a wonderful end to a hell of a day!
4/22: Oh, man, do I have notes for this day! Obviously, I still had hope that the electricity (thus internet) would be up and running. Yeah, was I wrong! I want to give my readers a full list of the characters I've met and now see on almost a daily basis. They're mostly all super cool old hippies, but I don't have the energy to go into descriptions now, so that'll have to wait until another day when I'm not playing catch up. This was an awesome day though. We started out by working at Leon's, one of Bella's friends who lives up on the commune, Libre (like I said, I'll get to all that later); we helped him dig out a potato patch and clear out other plots to be planted. Leon. Is. Awesome. He has spent the last 40 years getting peace stickers and pins made and passing them out and putting them up in random places. So, he lives up at Libre on Greenhorn Mtn. and stays on a beautiful plot of land. There are about 14 older couples still on Libre. They all built their own houses from recycled material... it is so amazing. Leon has the self-sustainability thing down pat. He's got an amazing greenhouse that includes aquaculture and a system that pumps water out of a fish tank to feed the plants. He also has an amazing flower and vegetable garden outside. In the greenhouse, however, things grow year round, which is hard to do in the mountains. For lunch, we just went on a little stroll through it and harvested plants for the most amazing salad I've ever had. Harvest, clean, and eat. Just as we are meant to do. It was so beyond cool. On our way down the mountain, we passed Eagle Ridge/The Butte... kind of the marker saying you've entered Gardner. We decided, although its on someone elses land, that a good hike after a long day of work would be awesome. So, up we went on this loose rock, at least 60 degree slope. It was a HARD climb, but the view of Huerfano Valley from the top was breathtaking. We stayed up there for about an hour, each on our own ledge, meditating and watching the lower over the Sangres de Christo mountains. Absolutely gorgeous. After we got back to the farm, Bella asked us (us = Nico and I) to go fill up bottles with the fresh spring water about 9 miles away. I realize that it may not sound super cool to get drinking water from a fresh spring, but it is. It totally is. Filling up bottles with fresh, cold, clean, natural drinking water? It tastes sweeter than any Vitamin Water you can buy. Overall, another fullfilling, laborous, wonderful day in Gardner, Colorado.
4/23: Woke up to 8 inches of snow. Slow morning... Should probably let you all in on another part of this farm business: the medical marijuana part. Bella, a long time tea and herbal tincture maker, brews cannabis tinctures and sells them to dispensaries around Colorado. In order to make these tinctures, she gets trash bags full of cuttings from plants that have been harvested. We get to go through these bags and sift them to get the best parts. So, that was how we started this cold, snowy morning with no electricity: sifting herb. Thank God for the wonderful wood burning oven/stove! Another part of Bella's business is edibles. That's where I come in. I love to bake... especially from scratch, and I happen to be pretty good at making cannabutter, so I spent the rest of the day attempting to perfect my CannaBanana Bread. It all got messed up though and was a terrible disaster (this time).... but I will say that it was a LETHAL batch of banana bread. CRUMBS are enough to medicate with. The snow melted quickly, almost as fast as it appeared, but at least we got a nice long day inside chillin' and bakin'. It was a nice break from the labor.
4/24: Windy but beautiful day. We fixed one of the coldframes (a structure that keeps plants warm and allows quicker growing). I didn't really help out much with that... I let Guy (the WWOOFer that left later that day) teach Nico how to do it while I layed in the hammock. Later, Nico and I went back and prepared the soil within the frame for planting. We have a nice little salad garden going now: arugula, lettuce, and broccoli raab. This was the day when the electrical ordeal really hit the fan. Ray, who had been working on fixing the system, royally f*cked it up and he and Bella got into it BAD. After three days of little to no electricity, we finally just had to turn EVERYTHING off, including water. There was major tension in the round house, so Nico, Ahni (Bella's daughter), and I went to THE bar in Gardner. It was pretty fun. I got to practice my pool game and enjoy a couple of nice cold brews... it had been a while =) When we got home, Bella was ready to forget about solar energy and just go on the grid or move away in general. She likes crisis like that, haha.
4/25: Ahni decided to take initiative on our solar system, and with the help of her dad and Bella's friend, Norm, she was able to fix it! Because we had already decided to go into Pueblo and stay the night with Norm, we left the batteries to charge up with Direct Current and headed off to Desert Reef Hot Springs outside Florence. We had to take Ahni to Colorado Springs to meet up with a friend before she flew home to San Fransisco for a couple of weeks, so we stopped along the way. At first, I was like, "AWESOME, I need a bath so bad." Then I got there and realized it was a NUDE hot springs! Leave it to Bella... Anyways, at first, I couldn't stop giggling like a stupid little girl (this was before we had even entered the place) then, I got all nervous about getting naked. I decided just to go with underwear. Boobies are boobies, right? Well, after a brief self-pep talk outside by my car, I go into the changing room. I get my shirt and jeans off when Bella steps out of the shower... fully, 100% nude. She smiled and was like "c'mon!" Well, I thought, after she left the room, this IS a summer of new experiences... so off came the underwear. I have only skinny dipped ONCE in my entire life and it was this last summer in Barcelona. It was like 2 am and I was wasted. THIS time, I got consciously naked, in the middle of the day, around a TON of people. It was so invigorating and, in a way, a self-confidence booster. Being naked is nice! But I will say, I have seen my fair share of peens, vajayjays, and saggy boobies for a while.... After a couple hours, we packed up and headed to Whole Foods in Colorado Springs (the meeting point for Ahni). For some reason, I had a complete emotional breakdown. I freaked out on Manbearpig (we'll just use that as a code name for the way-too-complicated-to-even-begin-to-explain man in my life), which I haven't done in a really long time. It really scares me when I get like that, especially now that I'm weaning off my medication. I mean, I started psychiatric meds when I was 15. November of my sophomore year. Now I'm 24... how am I to know who or what I actually am?? So, when I freak out for no reason now, I REALLY freak out. This sent me into a spiral of questioning whether or not I can handle all these radical changes taking place so quickly. I called most everyone in my family and cried and came to the realization that if I do, in fact, need to be on meds, then so be it. I really wanted to prove that they weren't necessary, that things that nature and the earth give us can just as easily fix issues in the head... but the facts are, that's not true for everyone. And that may not be true for me. Which really scares me, because right now, more than anything, I want to be 100% natural and chemical-free. I want to be independent and live in the NOW, the PRESENT, and not in my past. For as stable as I was before I left and have been for the last three years, I am now finding how hard it actually is to deal with my demons after they've been suppressed by medications for so long. It's probably the hardest part about this entire experiment so far. Love doing the labor. Love being outside. Not so much loving where my mind still goes and what is obsesses on when I have absolutely no reason to be unhappy. But, the show must go on, so I'm still taking half of my usual dose. Everything will work out as its supposed to.
4/26: So, since I'm trying to also become financially independent, I (for the moment) have taken a job at a medical marijuana dispensary in Pueblo. It pays for gas and gives me some extra spending money, plus I'm learning a ton from one of the top guys in Colorado. The medical marijuana industry here is booming, and since finding jobs in film festivals or film in general is so difficult if you don't want to go to LA or NYC, I figured this is the next thing I know the most about. I feel like its an opportunity I can't pass up... come September I could be set up with a full time, well-paying job, possibly anywhere in Colorado. Like I said, the guy I work for is THE man. Look out for him in the June issue of High Times. So, I worked a full dispensary day from 10 am- 7 pm. You may think that its just a legal way of selling pot, but patients do come in with severe problems. I helped an elderly man with throat cancer who could hardly speak or hear. I could literally see the pain in his eyes, and I could feel it. It takes patience and compassion to dispense medicine, but if I can help one severely ill person feel better, then I don't care what I give them. It truly is rewarding... and really, really, really freakin' fun. On my way home last night from Pueblo, there were tons of deer and elk on the side of the road. Though I was cruisin' to some jams, I was definitely cautious and aware on highway 69 leading out to Gardner (the middle of nowhere). As I turned a corner about 10 miles from Gardner, I saw a truck with its emergency lights flashing. Automatically, I assumed he had hit a deer or elk, so I pulled over to help out (something I would NEVER do, except, as I say, everyday's a new experience now). As I approached the window, the elderly, toothless Mexican man was on the phone and had stopped because he was about to lose service (as I already had). I walked back to my car, which I left running, only to find out that my car locked me out. 9:00 pm. Middle of nowhere. 30 something degrees. FREAKING OUT. So, I go back to my new toothless friend and tell him my dilemma. "Ayudame, por favor" I plead. So, he pulled up next to me and tried everything he could to get into my car. Finally, we realized that the only option was to break out one of my windows. I picked one of the small ones that didn't roll down, thinking that it would be easier and cheaper to fix, and my new friend stuck the handle of his shovel right through it. I shuddered at the sound, but was happy to be back in my warm car. I drove the next 10 miles both laughing at my stupidity and crying over the damage to my car and the money that I would have to spend to fix it. Now, my little window on my precious Jeep is ghetto-rigged with plastic shopping bags and painter's tape. I finally fit right in to the Gardner scene!
4/27: FINALLY! TODAY! Today.... wow. What did I do today? Haha, I've been thinking so much about the past week, I can't focus on what I did today! Hmm... well, I woke up at 7:30 in a pretty bad mood and immediately put on my work gloves to go clean all the broken glass out of my car and ghetto rig it until I can get it fixed. Then, I had breakfast, and HALLELUJAH! Someone came and fixed the electricity. We're about to build a greenhouse, so Bella had a friend with a tractor come and level the land. Before he got there, though, Nico and I had to do a ton of clearing and moving building materials and other trash that had accumulated in the area. Then, Nico and I set to the task of building another cold frame/hoop house. This time, I did most of the work in putting it together. It took all day, but we've got another great plot that will allow growing and harvesting most of the year! We're thinking of expanding our salad selection into this one as well. It's very exciting to spend hours building something and at the end of the day, see a final product. I feel very achieved =)
So, that's all I've got for right now! Was that enough catch-up? I'll try to be more on top of this, but we'll just have to see how our solar system holds up! Thanks for reading and check back in a few days for more updates and MAYBE even some pictures!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Disclaimer
It has come to my attention that my first post came off as a little
"preachy", and for that, I want to apologize. I am in no way telling any of you what to do, I am simply stating my mind. Also, I am not trying to show any ingratitude towards my previous lifestyle. I am extremely grateful for my family and all they have done for me; I just want to try out a different lifestyle and see if it works better for me. Having said all that, I would like to take this space to set a disclaimer: these posts will be all about me and my journey, and they will be straight from the heart and my crazy mind. I think, I type. This includes bad words, alternative views, ludeness, crudeness, and just overall craziness.
This material may not be suitable for readers under the age of 18.
"preachy", and for that, I want to apologize. I am in no way telling any of you what to do, I am simply stating my mind. Also, I am not trying to show any ingratitude towards my previous lifestyle. I am extremely grateful for my family and all they have done for me; I just want to try out a different lifestyle and see if it works better for me. Having said all that, I would like to take this space to set a disclaimer: these posts will be all about me and my journey, and they will be straight from the heart and my crazy mind. I think, I type. This includes bad words, alternative views, ludeness, crudeness, and just overall craziness.
This material may not be suitable for readers under the age of 18.
Playing Catch-Up
So, I said I'd start a blog as soon as I got to the farm... but I got lazy and have been using facebook to update everyone on my experience. Now, however, I find there is just too much to say, so here I am.
First, I want to explain the title of this blog: "The Human Experiment." As many of you know, I packed up and left my privileged, convenient, lazy-American lifestyle in order to take on a more natural approach to the world. Over the last couple of years, and I guess over the entirety of my recovery over the last 9 years, I've seen and experienced many-a-things that most people who grew up in the socialite, Fort Worth bubble never get to see, and in some cases, even deny exist.
The last three years have been the most effective though. As I found stability in my life and mind and had the wonderful opportunity to travel the world, my eyes were opened. We, Americans, and many others in the world, are not living as we were meant to. We were not put on this Earth by whatever greater power, be it God, Buddha, Allah, nature, universal energies, whatever, to drive everywhere in a car, be inside all day, and live these lives of complete convenience. Today in America, it seems that everyone is on prescription drugs, mostly for depression and anxiety and other psychological illnesses. Another fact, the majority of Americans are obese. Have you been to Disney World lately? It's pretty disgusting how many Rascal Scooters are rented out because people are too fat to walk the parks.
I mean, think about it. No wonder Americans are fat and depressed. We stay inside ALL day, sit in front of a computer or at a desk (because making that $$ is the most important thing, right???) and drive everywhere. We don't walk. We don't really work our bodies. We eat like shit -- on the run, fast food, all kinds of processed crap. And because of all these things, we are sad and unsatisfied with ourselves. This is not what we were put on Earth for! Our bodies, the human body, is meant to be worked. We need vitamins. We need the sun. We need to do labor. Going to the gym three days a week just doesn't cut it. Now, I'm not talking about being skinny and looking as hot as any model or anything... because that's just ridiculous and an expectation derived from the media and society. I'm talking about health. Natural, pure, health. In any case, I am... or rather, was, another stupid, lazy, fat American, living my daily life through privilege and convenience.
So, having word-vomited all of these thoughts and beliefs, I'll let you in on "The Human Experiment." I, Samantha Siegel, have left my wonderful, settled life behind to take on an entire new world -- to be a REAL human being, as we were meant to be. I am currently living and working on Earth Family Farm in Gardner, CO. Not only have I made a 180 degree shift in lifestyle, but I am also working to become 100% natural. No more chemicals in my body. That means "good-bye" lexapro and clonazapan (after almost 10 years of being medicated) and "adios" cigarettes. I'm eating only organic food, often times vegetarian meals (REALLY hard considering I'm from Texas) and working outside in a garden for 4-6 hours per day. Before this, I had never done a day of labor in my life. I'm just trying to emphasize what a drastic change this all is...
Now you're caught up and I can tell you all about the farm and Gardner. Earth Family Farm is 35 acres about 5 minutes outside Gardner. Gardner itself takes about 2 minutes to drive through and that's because the speed limit is 30. It's one of those towns you see on a road trip and think "thank God I don't live there." You know what I'm talking about, the ones in which all the houses look like junk yards and there's no gas station. The COOL thing is, in the early 70s and late 60s, Gardner was like a beacon for hippies. There is a fantastic community of old hippies living here. And they help eachother out with everything. You need a truck for manure? Sure, use mine. Need some seeds? Here, I have extra. This is another thing mainstream America is missing: COMMUNITY. Everyone grows their own garden and food, makes their way with some sort of craft or another, and lives. Doesn't SURVIVE in society. LIVES in and of the world. It's all very invigorating.
Bella Cloude is the owner and operator of the farm. She makes her dollars via massaging and holistic healing. She does wild-crafting and makes tinctures. She's the real deal when I talk about hippies. She dropped out of high school to go the the Hait in the grand summer of '68 and was a groupie with Hendrix, Garcia, Dylan, and Janis Joplin. As cool as this all is, she did entirely too many drugs and today is uber scatter-brained. It is near impossible to keep her focused on one single project. When we (we being me and another WWOOFer, Guy) arrived on the farm the garden was just trashed. It was as if she hadn't worked on it since last summer. I know nothing about farming or gardening, but I knew this was wrong and that we had our work cut out for us. Anyways, she's a really nice lady (most of the time... when she doesn't get herself all frazzled up on a million different things she thinks she needs to get done immediately) and does magic with her hands. As a healer, she is really gifted.
The house we live in is called the "Round House." It's an adobe cabin, and guess what, its circular. She and her partner (ex-husband, daughter's father, whatever they call it) built it by hand together during the 70's. It's pretty freakin' cool. Dirty, but cool. I have a nice little hutch room that's about 6'x10'. The house is completely off grid -- we are run on solar and wind energy. That means no sun, no wind = no power. There's no TV (we have a TV but only for DVDs). No washer/dryer. No dishwasher. Lemme tell ya, cleaning is a bitch. Sometimes I think sweeping that place is harder than clearing out the garden. I have blisters to prove it...
I've been on the farm for 13 days so far. When I got to Gardner, I was smoking at least half a pack of cigarettes a day and taking 10 mg of Lexapro and .5 mg of Clonazapan daily. I don't weigh myself, because I don't believe in it, but I will tell you that I am starting out at a size 10-12. Now, I'm 9 days into 5 mg of Lexapro a day (still taking the .5 Clonazapan just in case) and down to 2-3 cigarettes per day. I can already tighten my belt by one hole thingy. I LOVE working out in the garden and being outside. When I get tired and have to rest, I just look up and see the mountains in the distance and I am automatically recharged to keep working. Though weaning off the Lexapro has been hard and my mind has been regressing to its old, obsessive ways, I find it much easier to deal with myself with a little hard work, fresh air, sun, and the beauty of nature.
Already, I feel "The Human Experiment" will be a great success (though there are the hard times and you are liable to read a few entries full of bitching), but I hope that anyone who reads this learns something and thinks about their life and the way they live. Life is our own creation, we have the power to make ourselves happy. We don't need any other outside force except for the Earth. All you need is the will to make the change. Once its happening though, its AMAZING.
Anyways, thanks for reading this and check back for more updates and funny stories from the farm!
First, I want to explain the title of this blog: "The Human Experiment." As many of you know, I packed up and left my privileged, convenient, lazy-American lifestyle in order to take on a more natural approach to the world. Over the last couple of years, and I guess over the entirety of my recovery over the last 9 years, I've seen and experienced many-a-things that most people who grew up in the socialite, Fort Worth bubble never get to see, and in some cases, even deny exist.
The last three years have been the most effective though. As I found stability in my life and mind and had the wonderful opportunity to travel the world, my eyes were opened. We, Americans, and many others in the world, are not living as we were meant to. We were not put on this Earth by whatever greater power, be it God, Buddha, Allah, nature, universal energies, whatever, to drive everywhere in a car, be inside all day, and live these lives of complete convenience. Today in America, it seems that everyone is on prescription drugs, mostly for depression and anxiety and other psychological illnesses. Another fact, the majority of Americans are obese. Have you been to Disney World lately? It's pretty disgusting how many Rascal Scooters are rented out because people are too fat to walk the parks.
I mean, think about it. No wonder Americans are fat and depressed. We stay inside ALL day, sit in front of a computer or at a desk (because making that $$ is the most important thing, right???) and drive everywhere. We don't walk. We don't really work our bodies. We eat like shit -- on the run, fast food, all kinds of processed crap. And because of all these things, we are sad and unsatisfied with ourselves. This is not what we were put on Earth for! Our bodies, the human body, is meant to be worked. We need vitamins. We need the sun. We need to do labor. Going to the gym three days a week just doesn't cut it. Now, I'm not talking about being skinny and looking as hot as any model or anything... because that's just ridiculous and an expectation derived from the media and society. I'm talking about health. Natural, pure, health. In any case, I am... or rather, was, another stupid, lazy, fat American, living my daily life through privilege and convenience.
So, having word-vomited all of these thoughts and beliefs, I'll let you in on "The Human Experiment." I, Samantha Siegel, have left my wonderful, settled life behind to take on an entire new world -- to be a REAL human being, as we were meant to be. I am currently living and working on Earth Family Farm in Gardner, CO. Not only have I made a 180 degree shift in lifestyle, but I am also working to become 100% natural. No more chemicals in my body. That means "good-bye" lexapro and clonazapan (after almost 10 years of being medicated) and "adios" cigarettes. I'm eating only organic food, often times vegetarian meals (REALLY hard considering I'm from Texas) and working outside in a garden for 4-6 hours per day. Before this, I had never done a day of labor in my life. I'm just trying to emphasize what a drastic change this all is...
Now you're caught up and I can tell you all about the farm and Gardner. Earth Family Farm is 35 acres about 5 minutes outside Gardner. Gardner itself takes about 2 minutes to drive through and that's because the speed limit is 30. It's one of those towns you see on a road trip and think "thank God I don't live there." You know what I'm talking about, the ones in which all the houses look like junk yards and there's no gas station. The COOL thing is, in the early 70s and late 60s, Gardner was like a beacon for hippies. There is a fantastic community of old hippies living here. And they help eachother out with everything. You need a truck for manure? Sure, use mine. Need some seeds? Here, I have extra. This is another thing mainstream America is missing: COMMUNITY. Everyone grows their own garden and food, makes their way with some sort of craft or another, and lives. Doesn't SURVIVE in society. LIVES in and of the world. It's all very invigorating.
Bella Cloude is the owner and operator of the farm. She makes her dollars via massaging and holistic healing. She does wild-crafting and makes tinctures. She's the real deal when I talk about hippies. She dropped out of high school to go the the Hait in the grand summer of '68 and was a groupie with Hendrix, Garcia, Dylan, and Janis Joplin. As cool as this all is, she did entirely too many drugs and today is uber scatter-brained. It is near impossible to keep her focused on one single project. When we (we being me and another WWOOFer, Guy) arrived on the farm the garden was just trashed. It was as if she hadn't worked on it since last summer. I know nothing about farming or gardening, but I knew this was wrong and that we had our work cut out for us. Anyways, she's a really nice lady (most of the time... when she doesn't get herself all frazzled up on a million different things she thinks she needs to get done immediately) and does magic with her hands. As a healer, she is really gifted.
The house we live in is called the "Round House." It's an adobe cabin, and guess what, its circular. She and her partner (ex-husband, daughter's father, whatever they call it) built it by hand together during the 70's. It's pretty freakin' cool. Dirty, but cool. I have a nice little hutch room that's about 6'x10'. The house is completely off grid -- we are run on solar and wind energy. That means no sun, no wind = no power. There's no TV (we have a TV but only for DVDs). No washer/dryer. No dishwasher. Lemme tell ya, cleaning is a bitch. Sometimes I think sweeping that place is harder than clearing out the garden. I have blisters to prove it...
I've been on the farm for 13 days so far. When I got to Gardner, I was smoking at least half a pack of cigarettes a day and taking 10 mg of Lexapro and .5 mg of Clonazapan daily. I don't weigh myself, because I don't believe in it, but I will tell you that I am starting out at a size 10-12. Now, I'm 9 days into 5 mg of Lexapro a day (still taking the .5 Clonazapan just in case) and down to 2-3 cigarettes per day. I can already tighten my belt by one hole thingy. I LOVE working out in the garden and being outside. When I get tired and have to rest, I just look up and see the mountains in the distance and I am automatically recharged to keep working. Though weaning off the Lexapro has been hard and my mind has been regressing to its old, obsessive ways, I find it much easier to deal with myself with a little hard work, fresh air, sun, and the beauty of nature.
Already, I feel "The Human Experiment" will be a great success (though there are the hard times and you are liable to read a few entries full of bitching), but I hope that anyone who reads this learns something and thinks about their life and the way they live. Life is our own creation, we have the power to make ourselves happy. We don't need any other outside force except for the Earth. All you need is the will to make the change. Once its happening though, its AMAZING.
Anyways, thanks for reading this and check back for more updates and funny stories from the farm!
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